Books

General Grief

Comforting Those Who Grieve, Doug Manning, In-Sight Books. This practical book offers caring ways to help those in mourning. Common sense and a deep faith are blended in this insightful guide. (www.insightbooks.com)

Don't Take My Grief Away, Doug Manning, In-Sight Books.  One of my favorites; very practical and full of great advice.  (www.insightbooks.com)

I'll Hold You in Heaven, Jack Rayford - “Beautifully written to comfort with the hope and assurance of heaven as proved in scripture.”

The Five People You Meet in Heaven, Mitch Albom

The Power of Positive Thinking, Norman Vincent Peale, “This book helped me with my overall outlook on life after our stillbirth.”

Tear Soup, Pat Schweibert, Everyone loves this book, including children after a loss.”

When Bad Things Happen to Good People, Harold S. Kushner,  “Helped me think about our tragedy and other tragedies in a spiritual context. This book’s perspective is different than many spiritual messages regarding tragedy that I had heard before.” Some have concerns that it minimizes baby losses.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss

After Miscarriage: Medical Facts and Emotional Support for Pregnancy Loss,Krissi Danielsson, Excellent medical descriptions and explanations along with the author's personal story woven throughout.

All That is Seen and Unseen: A Journey Through a First Trimester Miscarriage, Elizabeth Petrucelli, Journal entries share the author’s journey of infertility and the loss of a baby in the first trimester.

I'll Hold You In Heaven: Healing and Hope for the Parent Who has Lost a Child through Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Abortion or Early Infant Death, Jack W. Hayford,   Provides compassionate answers to troubling questions such as, What happened to my baby after it died? Will I ever see my baby again—and will I recognize him? What happens if I’ve had an abortion?   Offers ‘the freeing truth of the word of God promises that you will hold your child again in heaven.”

Asleep in Heaven’s Nursery, Tommy Mann, a Christian book with a mission – “to spread the message of Jesus Christ to readers who have suffered the loss of a child.”   (www.tommymanministries.com)

The Anguish of Loss, Julie Fritsch & Sherokee Ilse, a beautiful book of sculptures and prose that shares the emotional journey of the loss of a child. Also available as a DVD with music to be used at support meetings and professional trainings. (www.wintergreenpress.com)

An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination: A Memoir, Elizabeth 2010 Written by a novelist who found out in her ninth month of pregnancy that her baby boy had died. Written with humor and warmth and unfailing generosity. (www.aplacetoremember.com)

Dear Cheynne: A Journey into Grief, Joanne Cacciatore, Offers a pregnancy journal including the death of the baby, self-help skills, couples, poetry, and more. (www.missfoundation.org)

Empty Arms, Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death, Sherokee Ilse “To be given to parents as soon as they learn about the death of their baby to help them make critical decisions. It also helps parents and families heal over time. Includes a long list of resources. Updated and revised in late 2013.” (www.wintergreenpress.com)

Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby, Deborah L. Davis “This book helped me to understand the emotions I was feeling were normal and to decide to try again.” “After birth, for mothers/grandmothers.”   (www.aplacetoremember.com)

An Empty Cradle - A Full Heart, Christine O'Keeffe Lafser,  “Good for the first year or so following the death of a baby.”

For the Love of Angela, Nancy Mayer-Whittington, St. Catherine of Siena Press, 2007. Nancy shares her story of continuing her pregnancy with her daughter who had Trisomy 18 which usually results in death before or shortly after birth.  (www.fortheloveofangela.com)

From Sorrow to Serenity, Susan Fletcher, Hunter House Publications, 1998. Biblical daily affirmations to support families whose baby has died.   (www.aplacetoremember.com)

Grieving the Child I Never Knew, Kathie Wunnenberg, The anticipation of a child's birth turns into the grief of miscarriage, tubal pregnancy, stillbirth, or early infant death…no words on earth can ease your loss. But there is strength and encouragement in the wisdom of others who have been there and found that God's comfort is real. Scripture, prayer, space for journaling.

Life Touches Life: A Mother's Story of Stillbirth and Healing by Lorraine Ash   “A friend sent this to me as soon as she found out about our daughter. It really helped me to start the healing process.” “Good for moms, dads, or anyone touched by stillbirth. I read it soon after my loss and I believe it helped point me in the right direction about grieving.” (www.aplacetoremember.com)

 Love Letters to Miscarried Moms, Samantha Evans.  The story of one mom's journey from the excitement of pregnancy to the devastation (with all the 'grotesque details') of a miscarriage.  Through the entire book the author shares love, hope, and proof that she walks 'with her Savior every step of the way.'   (www.westbowpress.com)

Miscarriage: A Shattered Dream, Sherokee Ilse & Linda Hammer Burns, offers a comprehensive and insightful perspective on possible causes, medical terminology, choices and decisions, emotional aspects, coping suggestions, choices for the future, and resources for families experiencing a miscarriage. Those who have suffered a miscarriage will find emotional and medical support that far surpasses any other book on this subject.  (www.wintergreenpress.com)

Planning a Precious Goodbye by Sherokee Ilse & Susan Erling. “Short, comprehensive guide for writing an obituary, sending birth/death announcements, planning a funeral for babies, includes miscarriage. Songs, poems, prose, readings and scripture.” (www.wintergreenpress.com)

Only God Knows Why: A Mother's memoir of Death and Rebirth, Amy Lyon.  A story of pain and suffering, the author wallows in the unthinkable - planning her death.  Yet, through God's grace, she chose life.  This tale shares the honest, raw emotions of being 'buried beneath the htick layers of sorrow...hope and joy can exist...even if you refuse to believe."

The SIDS Survival Guide, Joani Horchler and Robin Morris, Poems, letters, diary entries, and essays written by parents, grandparents, professional counselors, siblings, friends, and babysitters – all discuss their personal experiences in confronting SIDS.  (www.wintergreenpress.com)

Single Parent Grief, Sherokee Ilse,  For teens or a more mature parent, this resource explores the special grief of single parents who have no steady partner. Suggestions and information offer hope, a good resource section included. (www.wintergreenpress.com)

A Silent Sorrow by Ingrid Kohn “For after birth, for mothers, fathers, and grandmothers.” (www.aplacetoremember.com)

Silent Grief, Claire Hinton, A book to encourage and give hope to the heart of any parent grieving the loss of a child; helps with feelings of aloneness, to know that someone truly cares.

Still: A collection of artwork and writings from the heart of a grieving mother, Stephanie Paige Cole, The author uses creative expression as a tool to navigate her way through the intensity of her emotions, and allowing herself to grieve honestly and on her own terms, inviting the reader in for an intimate look at that first dark year without her daughter. 

They Were Still Born, Janel Atlas editor, Story after stories are told by moms, dads, and grandparents – many are well-known authors and stillbirth advocates. The book also has a significant section on stillbirth causes and prevention including emerging research - on cord/placenta problems, fetal growth restriction, infection, decreased movement/kick counting, and more.  (www.wintergreenpress.com)

To Full Term: A Mother’s Triumph Over Miscarriage, Darci Klein (2007), “A gripping memoir of pregnancy with her son Sam and her struggle to give her baby a fighting chance. From refusing to accept outmoded obstetric guidelines to going head-to-head with stubborn medical professionals, to overcoming her fears, Darci faced each challenge to achieve her goal. What she learned on her journey about defending her own reproductive health and coping with the emotional strain of high-risk pregnancy will empower any woman who wants to do all she can to have a full-term, healthy baby.”

Too Soon A Memory, Pat Schweibert, A little booklet gives practical advice and shared common feelings after an early miscarriage. (www.wintergreenpress.com)

When Hello Means Good-Bye by Pat Schwiebert and Paul Kirk “Good for parents immediately following the news of a baby's death.” “Before giving birth as it talks about things to do, for mothers/fathers/grandparents.”   (www.wintergreenpress.com)

Twin Loss

Death of an Infant Twin, This small handout gives emotional support to families when one or more babies in a multiple birth do not survive.  (www.aplacetoremember.com)

Living Without Your Twin, Betty Jean Case. Betty Jean is a twin, grew up with twin siblings, and had a set of twin grandsons. This 150-page book discusses how to keep living without your twin and best friend by your side. It also explores the uniqueness of twin loss.(www.aplacetoremember.com)

My Twin Vanished: Did Yours? Dr. Brent H. Babcock, A survivor himself of a vanished twin, Dr. Brent H. Babcock shares with the public for the first time his knowledge concerning the vanishing twin. 

Twin Loss, Dr. Raymond W. Brandt, a twinless twin himself and the founder of the Twinless Twins Support Group. He is considered by many an authority on twin loss. The 400-page book discusses all aspects of the loss and also speaks to the family members on how to help the survivor twin.

We are Twins, But Who Am I? Betty Jean Case, While most people begin life as separate human beings & must learn intimacy, twins are born into intimacy & must learn how to find separateness. In doing research for this book, Betty Jean Case questioned more than 800 twins on subjects as varied as love, marriage, education, & ESP. Being a twin herself, Betty Jean Case has been able to express the struggle for identity from a twin’s perspective. 

 Couples and Men

Couple Communication After a Baby Dies: Differing Perspectives, Sherokee Ilse, Tim Nelson, www.wintergreenpress.com, 2008. (Newly Released) Practical advice, wise suggestions to ponder, stories that inspire couples to talk and encourage understanding of each other’s unique coping styles. A helpful and unique book that includes Tim and Monica and David and Sherokee’s journey and lessons.   (www.wintergreenpress.com)

For Better or Worse: A Handbook for Couples Whose Child Has Died, Maribeth Doerr www.centeringcorp.org

A Guide for Fathers: When a Baby Dies by Tim Nelson. (www.aplacetoremember.com) “Excellent for fathers – shares Tim’s story and offers bullet points on how to cope as a man.”

Healing A Father’s Grief, (www.compassionatefriends.org) Short booklet.

Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back, Kelly Farley and David Dicola, ( www.GrievingDads.com)

Men Don’t Cry, Women Do, T.L. Martin, K.J.Doka, Brunner, 1999. Looks at the ways that men and women differ in expression of grief, and proposes the framework of instrumental and intuitive grieving styles. (www.amazon.com)

Men Are from Mars, Women from Venus, John Grey. Helps men and women to better see their uniqueness promoting communication and understanding. Has a light hearted perspective.

Video -  Here's an enlightening video on "Men and Emotions." It may help people understand 'some' of the differences between how men and women grieve...and how they deal differently with emotions and life stress in general.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPneIYGHGcs

 Subsequent Pregnancy

Another Baby-Maybe…30 Most Frequently Asked Subsequent Pregnancies, by Sherokee Ilse and Maribeth Doerr   Suggestions, advice, and a bibliography make this booklet a must.   “Good for parents who are pregnant again after a loss or who are thinking about becoming pregnant again or are pregnant again.” (www.wintergreenpress.com)

Journeys: Stories of Pregnancy After Loss, Amy Abbey, Abbey as author and editor, has gathered the stories of almost a dozen families, and shares how the families coped with loss and went on to have successful pregnancies.

Pregnancy After a Loss: A Guide to Pregnancy After a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death by Carol Cirulli Lanham, “This book helped me through my subsequent pregnancy.”   (www.aplacetoremember.com)

Still to Be Born by Pat Schweibert. “Helps parents who are in a subsequent pregnancy.” “After birth, for mothers and grandmothers.”  (www.wintergreenpress.com)

Rainbows and Redemption,  is a free e-book devotional to encourage you on the journey of Pregnancy After Loss.  Written by ten women who have walked the path of a subsequent pregnancy, this devotional will encourage you with weekly devotionals (one for each week of pregnancy) exploring the areas of faith, fear, joy, and sorrow against the backdrop of the often tumultuous time of expecting a baby after a loss.  Downloadable directly from the website.  (www.rainbowsandredemption.weebly.com)

Trying Again: A Guide to Pregnancy After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss, Ann Douglas, John R. Sussman. Lessens the uncertainties about pregnancy after miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss by providing the facts to help you determine if you and your partner are emotionally ready for another pregnancy. It also imparts essential advice about preparing and planning for another baby when you decide the time is right.

When Pregnancy Follows a Loss, Joann O’Leary, Claire Thorwick, 2006, available through wintergreenpress.com. Addresses the conflicting emotions of living through another pregnancy and shares many families’ stories. Talks about the importance of being the parent of the baby who died which directly affects the new parenting of the new baby. (www.wintergreenpress.com)

Children

A Letter from Heaven, Steve Butler.  Jamie was still little when he asked his mommy who Alexandra was.  He learned that she was his older sister who died before he was born and now lives in Heaven.  This book for 3-8 year olds eloquently tells the story of death, grief, and new life in a practical manner.

Mommy, Please Don't Cry by Linda DeYamaz. “Gorgeous artwork by Laurie Snow Hein. This book is written from the child's perspective as he/she shares what it's like in heaven. Very touching and comforting...one of my personal favorites. Great gift book for mom. I love to think of my little ones experiencing the joys and wonder of heaven until we meet again.”   (www.aplacetormember.com)

My Brother...He's An Angel, Savannah Leyde.  A little boy waiting for the birth of his baby brother finds out the baby has died.  This short children's story tells of feelings, holidays, creating memories, planting trees, and that his brother is safe in Jesus' arms.

No New Baby: For Siblings Who Have a Brother or Sister Die Before Birth,  For young children, easy to follow. eshop

Someone Came Before You by Pat Schwiebert     (www.griefwatch.org)  “We bought this book to explain to my subsequent child about her sister.”

Something Happened: A book for children and parents who have experienced pregnancy loss, Cathy Blanford.

We Were Going to Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead by Pat Schweibert“Great for small children who were waiting for a baby brother or sister to come home.” (www.griefwatch.org)

Tear Soup, Pat Schweibert, A well told analogy of grief being like soup, told by Grand(ma), full of wisdom for all ages. (www.griefwatch.org)

Complicated Pregnancies

A Gift of Time: Continuing Your Pregnancy When Your Baby’s Life is Expected to be Brief by Amy Kuebelbeck and Deborah L. Davis.   A gentle and practical guide for parents who decide to continue their pregnancy knowing that their baby's life will be brief. Also gives inspiration and reassurance through the memories of numerous parents who have loved a child who did not survive. Their moving experiences are stories of grief—and of hope. Their anguish over the prenatal diagnosis turns to joy and love during the birth of their child and to gratitude and peace when reflecting on their baby’s short life. .Full of practical suggestions for parents and for caregivers, Features the innovative concept of perinatal hospice and palliative care. (http://perinatalhospice.org/A_Gift_of_Time.html)

Mourning Sarah: A Case for Testing Group B Strep, Theresa Vigour, Radcliff, 2008.   Sarah didn’t need to die. If Theresa had been tested and treated for Group B Strep, Sarah probably would have lived. The story is compelling and poignant. (www.amazon.com)

Precious Lives, Painful Choices: A Prenatal Decision-making Guide, Sherokee Ilse This sensitive book offers a comprehensive discussion of the options available to prospective parents after hearing bad results from prenatal testing. The pros and cons of termination and carrying the pregnancy are presented in a non-judgmental way, offering families information and reassurance that they must do what is right for themselves. Excellent resource list and bibliography. Families are encouraged to read this guide in their decision-making process, before they make a permanent choice.
This guide needs to be shared with families the minute they learn of the bad news, along with the humane care and good medical information from their care providers.

This Little While by Joy and Dr. S.M. Johnson   (www.centeringcorp.org) Before giving birth as it talks about things to do, for mothers/fathers/grandparents.

Waiting with Gabriel: A Story of Cherishing a Baby’s Brief Life by Amy Kuebelbeck “Shares this family's journey through a pregnancy with a fatal diagnosis and the beautiful way they chose to view their time with their son Gabriel as a precious gift.” (www.aplacetoremember.com)

Caregivers

Companioning at a Time of Perinatal Loss: A Guide for Nurses, Physicians, Social Workers, Chaplains and other Bedside Caregivers, Jane Heustis RN, Marcia Meyer Jenkins RN and Alan Worfelt, Intended for nurses, doctors, midwives, social workers, chaplains, and hospital support staff, this guide gives caring and practical advice for helping families grieve properly after losing a child at birth. As the special needs of families experiencing perinatal loss are intense and require more than just the bereavement standards in most hospitals, this handbook offers tips and suggestions for opening up communication between caregivers and families, creating a compassionate bedside environment, and helping with mourning rituals. Encouraging continual grief support, these specific companioning strategies can help ease the pain of this most sensitive situation.

Companioning the Bereaved: A Soulful Guide for Counselors & Caregivers, Alan Wolfelt, Renowned author and educator Alan Wolfelt redefines the role of the grief counselor in this guide for caregivers. His new model for "companioning" the bereaved gives a viable alternative to the limitations of the medical establishment, encouraging counselors and other caregivers to aspire to a more compassionate philosophy. This approach argues that grief need no longer be defined, diagnosed, and treated as an illness but rather should be an acknowledgement of an event that forever changes a person's worldview. Through careful listening and observation, the caregiver learns to support mourners and help them help themselves heal.

Giving Care, Taking Care: Support for the Helpers, Sherokee Ilse, This encouraging, long overdue book is written for the professional and lay person who give of themselves, but must be reminded to make time to "fill their own wells." A practical guide with advice from people who have "been there" for professionals such as: nurses, mental health professionals, clergy, funeral directors, physicians, hospice workers, disaster relief workers and family members who care for loved ones who are chronically ill.